Saturday, February 9, 2013

The Dream Tree

I can see the tree. The vastness of it. The height. From the top, I knew I would be able to see forever. The breeze would tug at my hair, the sun warming my pale skin. The thrill of being so high would send shivers down my spine. Elation. Giddiness. Splendor. But I’m not in the tree. I’m not even preparing for the long climb. I’m not enjoying the sweet aroma of the apples or listening to the leaves rustling in the gentle wind. I’m treading water in the churning river beneath the tree. Whirlpools threatening to pull me under into the dark frigid water. The memory of the blissful view disappeared like the shriveling rotten fruit. The tree disappears. The shore disappears. All I see is water. Desperate and hopeless, I struggle to move my leaden limbs. 

Friday, February 8, 2013


Should I be crying more?  Less?  Is this the right time to laugh?  Should I be holding it together better?  Don't ever get angry.  Why can't I just be me?  The facade is cracking.  Like so much plaster in an ancient abandoned house.  A house full of memories.  Full of ghosts.  Full of the emotions I have internalized throughout the long years.  Why is it always my fault?  Why do I always screw it up.  The facade has cracked because the foundation is crumbling.  The walls which held everything I believed to be true.  The truth has begun to penetrate like rays of sun through the cracks in the fa├žade.  The welcome truths.  The harsh, unrelenting truths.  Pelting me.  Soothing me.  Shaking me to the core.  If I survive this earthquake, who will I be? 

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

25 Things to do with an extra $25

1.  Colored pencils
2.  Paints
3.  Paper
4.  Glue
5.  Paintbrushes
6.  Portfolio
7.  Pens and Pencils
8.  Pastels
9.  Markers
10.  Drawing Templates
11.  Clay
12.  Yarn or Embroidery Floss
13. Gifts for Friends and Family
14.  Music
15.  Exotic Foods
16.  Books
17.  Movie tickets
18.  Specialty Coffee and Teas
19.  Magazines
20.  Pay it forward
21.  Tickets to a community playhouse or local band
22.  Plants
23.  Garden Tools
24.  A new Sketchbook
25.  Gourmet Chocolates

Friday, February 1, 2013